We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize