Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious