just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."