i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.