cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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