you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
