My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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