we're chasing vodka with high fives
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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