I wanna bring you to show and tell
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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