so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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