I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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