I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
kristin has been a bad kristin
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
