I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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