She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I deserve this hangover.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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