You can't motorboat a personality
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
