In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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