Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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