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We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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