Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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