Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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