There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
