We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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