talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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