omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
