Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
