i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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