Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
