Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
