u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
