We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
