Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
