If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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