believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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