its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
