I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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