You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
