I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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