They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
