ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
