how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
