i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize