Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm both gender and math confused
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
