y did u give ur computer a hand job?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
