I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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