so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
