This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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