I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
