Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
