And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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