we have pet lesbian snakes
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
zippers are such a cool invention
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
