If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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