I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am naked and annoyed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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