Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
