my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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