I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She's the barista slut.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
