Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
