why didn't you poke me back
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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