i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
