dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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