I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize