I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
